I started working with a group that had an issue that was getting in their way.
All of the team members seemed to get along very well - with laughter and joking.
But something was bubbling under the surface.
I then asked:
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐จ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ด, ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ?
What felt like a cold wind entered the conversation and the energy shifted.
Something had changed.
I remained silent for a very long time. People looked down and then, slowly someone began to speak.
People began to share their individual options about working with other groupsbut the energy was low and the discussion was not as free flowing as before.
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฉ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฏ๐ข๐ญ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฉ๐ช๐ฑ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ ๐ด๐ข๐ธ ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐ถ๐ต๐ฆ ๐ข๐จ๐ฐ?
More Silence
I pulled an empty chair and sat it around the meeting table.
On the chair, I placed a stuffed animal, โBamseโ (Bamse is a well-known Swedish teddy bear and translates to "big"), and sat him on the chair.
Bamse represents the โconnection of relationshipsโ of everyone in the group.
It is not one person but the โweโ of the group.
I asked individuals to take turns, sit in Bamse's chair, and place him on their lap.
I reminded everyone that this represents no individual perspective or position, BUT it is the ENTIRE system of relationships.
Speaking from this perspective, I asked them to consider the following questions:
๐๐ง ๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ข๐บ ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ณ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ it ๐ด๐ข๐บ?
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด ๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฌ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต?
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฆ๐ด ๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฆ๐ข๐ฎ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ?
As the team members spoke from Bamseโs perspective, new things emerged. The energy in the group slowly returned.
Decisions were made, and actions were identified. The group created a plan for better working with other groups within the organisation.
When you separate the group relationship from the individual perspectives often allows one to see different things. The wisdom of the relationship (Bamse's) and what it needs allows groups to discover new alternatives and move forward.