A simple ritual for active listening is the ‘listening circle’.
You can make a listening circle as short as 15 minutes up to 60 minutes, or leave it open-ended.
Decide who you want your listening partners to be. They can be your team members or colleagues, friends or family members. With your listening partners, arrange a fixed time during the week when all of you meet in person or online with one intention and one intention only: to listen to one another.
A listening circle is not a place for advice or strategizing. The person being listened to receives the gift of being seen and accepted with everything they are, feel and think. Collective wisdom can emerge through deep listening in teams or groups.
In silence at the beginning of your listening circle meeting, take two minutes to reflect on some questions (example below). Then decide which of you will start sharing your thoughts and feelings. The sharing can be timed, or everyone can speak as long as they want.
Timing your sharing assures everyone equal time to share – balancing out those who usually keep quiet with those who always talk. An open-ended listening circle has the benefit that everything that needs to be said can be said. I suggest you do two rounds of sharing. The second round allows for more information to come to the surface.
If you decide on a timed listening circle, I recommend a minimum talking time of three minutes per person per round. If someone finishes speaking before the time is up, instruct them to sit silently until the alarm goes off.
The listeners’ task is to listen to the speaker intently and with their full attention. They should not give any advice or comment. After the agreed-upon time of the speaker sharing, the listeners say, ‘Thank you’, and the next person has the opportunity to share.
That’s it. There is nothing more to do, no preparation, no resulting tasks.
We are including a few questions as examples. The questions should be simple. We suggest that you always begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings and pay particular attention to what you notice in your body at the beginning and the end of your sharing.
Before you close your listening circle:
Decide when you will meet next.
Make the listening circle a regular ritual: weekly, bi-weekly or monthly.
Observe how it changes how connected you feel to yourself and those you share with.
SOME REFLECTION QUESTIONS
What am I feeling and thinking?
What do I notice in my body?
What I am proud of having accomplished last week (what did I accomplish)?
To whom am I grateful (something someone else did last week)?
What concerns me?
What can I do for myself this week, to do something or to feel better?
What is emerging (insight, feeling, knowing)?
What do I notice in my body?
Source: Conscious U