To be of service to someone is to see that person as a whole — heart, body, mind, and spirit. In other words, people are not the problem they are going through. Your parent is not cancer. Your friend is experiencing unemployment; she is not unemployed. Seeing someone as a whole helps to explain why service is a relationship of equals. We all experience suffering just as we all experience joy.
'Being' and 'Doing'
When I work with people to define goals I ask this question:
‘What do you want and how will you know you have achieved this?’
In the response to the question, I consider two aspects - who are you ‘being’ when you achieve these results - how are you showing up and what personal characteristics are you demonstrating. This ‘being’ can often involve some sort of clarity or personal transformation that needs to occur. Alongside that is what are you ‘doing’ as a part of reaching these results. The latter is the easy part for most.